14 Ways to Talk to Someone Who Doesn't Carry the Conversation

14 Ways to Talk to Someone Who Doesn't Carry the Conversation

As a student who's been around the block a few times, I've had my fair share of awkward silences and one-sided conversations. You know, those moments when you're doing all the heavy lifting, trying to keep the conversation afloat while the other person just nods along? It can be tough!

But don't worry! I've picked up some tricks along the way. Here are my top tips for engaging with someone who's not carrying the conversation:

1. Break the Ice

Starting a conversation can be the hardest part. Try these:

• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of questions with a simple "yes" or "no" answer, ask something that encourages them to share more.
  • Try: "What's something interesting you've learned recently?" or "What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?"
• Share a Personal Story: This could be about a book you're reading, something funny that happened, or anything to get the ball rolling.
  • Like: "I just finished reading this amazing book about..."
• Offer a Compliment: Everyone likes a genuine compliment!
  • You could say: "I really like your shoes!" or "That's a great story you just told."
• Engage in Small Talk: It doesn't have to be deep! Talk about the weather, a recent movie, or anything relatable.
  • For example: "Have you seen the new movie everyone's talking about?"

2. Be a Good Listener

Sometimes, the best way to get someone to open up is by showing them you're really listening.

• Maintain Eye Contact: It shows you're paying attention and interested.
• Nod and Make Sounds: Little things like saying "Hmm," "Uh-huh," or "Really?" tell them you're following along.
• Ask Clarifying Questions: If they mention something interesting, ask them to elaborate!
  • Say something like: "Can you tell me more about that?" or "What happened next?"
• Summarize and Reflect: Briefly repeat what you heard to make sure you understand and to show you're engaged.
  • You could start with: "So, you're saying..." or "It sounds like you're feeling..."

3. Find Common Ground

People are more likely to open up when they feel connected. Look for things you have in common.

• Look for Shared Interests: Do you both like to cook, read, or play sports?
• Talk About Your Shared Experiences: Maybe you're from the same town or have both been to a particular museum.
• Find Connections Through Questions: "What brought you to this event?" or "How did you get into this field?" can spark a conversation about your shared background or interests.

And remember, be patient! It takes time to build rapport and trust. Don't get discouraged if the conversation doesn't flow perfectly right away. Keep trying, be yourself, and focus on building a genuine connection.